[ALIAS:] Joseph Hakubi/Jo-chan Hakubi, hentai, baka

[AGE:] 11

[HAIR/EYE COLOR:] Black hair and gray-brown eyes as a boy, red hair and sky-blue eyes as a girl.

[STATUS:] Sixth grade student. Employee of Washu's Used Bookstore. Field Researcher for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, currently on hiatus.

[GENERAL APPEARANCE:]

{Male Description:}

An eleven-year-old sixth grade boy, Joseph has short black hair, often disheveled, with dark brown highlights. He's thin and four-foot-nine, and peers out of gray-brown eyes with an air of innocence.

Well, okay, mostly immaturity, but that's understandable, since he is.

Anyhow, Joseph is possessed of that little-kid sort of cuteness that all young anime characters seem to have for some inexplicable reason.

{Female Description:}

An eleven-year-old sixth grade girl, Jo-chan has short, soft red hair with pink highlights. She's thin and four-foot-seven, and looks brightly through sky-blue eyes. In other words, Jo-chan isn't too overly different. She's a bit taller and a bit cuter and possesses those feminine features that make it readily apparent to passersby that she's a girl, e.g. development in the chest area.

[GENERAL CLOTHING:]

Joseph tends to choose his clothing using two modes of thought. Either he's looking to be cute and endearing, in which case his usual choice of clothing usually consists of stuff like a T-shirt and jeans or shorts which tend to accentuate said cuteness, or he's looking to be sobering, in which case he'll choose some slacks and a collared shirt, usually in solid colors. If she's a girl at the time, she'll generally choose to dress very cutely, ranging from, perhaps, overalls with a T-shirt and a headband on the casual end and a blouse and skirt on the formal end. She tends to like to wear pastels as a girl. (She doesn't wear dresses. Unless pressured by her friends.)

When he goes to school, he wears -- follow me closely here -- a school uniform. This consists of either a button-up white shirt and black dress pants (when he's a boy) or, when she's a girl, a typical sailor fuku in white with a very short blue skirt and a red ribbon.

[ATTITUDE:]

{GENERAL PERSONALITY:}

An extremely easygoing person, Joseph is pretty stoic, in the sense that he accepts pretty much everything and doesn't act unless something urgent shows up. However, sometimes that demeanor is simply a heroic front that he puts up. Afraid to show his true feelings, in times of depression he worries about whether people really like him -- though most of the time he approaches life with the whimsy and optimism of a normal eleven-year-old. However, the result of this is that he has a tendency to succumb easily to the pressure of people he knows, in fear of losing their friendship. Joseph also tends to become extremely attached to his friends, willing to do almost anything for them, including sacrificing his own life.

As Joseph is the sum of child and adult minds, his behavior changes when necessary. In other words, most of the time he acts like a very intelligent child his own age, with all of the cuteness and innocence that implies. However, when necessary, the other half of his mind reveals itself, with the seriousness, maturity, and experience for the situation at hand. But common to both ways of thought is his extreme Takahashi stubbornness. And the ability to make witty, sarcastic, and ironic observations about life and the events around him, which has shaped itself into his own form of non-physical fighting.

Oh, and he's not particularly worried about his curse much. He's comfortable in his sense of self rather than his sense of masculinity, since that's what really matters.

Mainly he doesn't like being wet.

{INTERACTIONS:}

When relating to others, if the person in question is a stranger, Joseph probably won't even try talking to him. Being a naturally introverted person, he usually waits for other people to introduce themselves to him or start conversations.

If the person is a close friend, though, he won't hesitate to give them a hug and ask how they are. As if he never got a chance to before, he likes to be extremely affectionate and intimate around his friends and expects them to treat him the same way. He'd pretty much do almost anything for his friends, and if one of them slights him or ignores him, he's deeply hurt.

As to how to become a close friend -- Joseph gets attached to people pretty easily, so long as you talk to him often, be honest, and share your true self with him.

{REACTIONS TO HOSTILITY:}

As a rule, Joseph's reaction to hostility of a physical sort involves running away. No reason to risk your life just because of a stupid dispute, right? Besides, it's not like he has any fighting skills in particular.

However. If said hostility threatens the lives of anyone else, he's willing to fight back. Usually in some kind of intellectual, non-intuitive, indirect, brilliant way. Joseph isn't the sort to fight mano a mano, he undermines the enemy's plan with something they don't expect at all, MacGyver-style.

Now, hostility of a verbal sort will provoke a sarcastic retort, with enough wit to disarm the attacker of his weapon.

{ROMANCE:}

An extremely shy person, Joseph doesn't respond well to passes. In fact, he doesn't respond at all to passes, which is just as well considering that he's too young for sex anyway.

Emotionally, Joseph is currently in the stage of childhood in which boys and girls are just discovering each other (granted, technically he's both), so simply liking a girl is probably the best you're going to get out of him.

But if you asked, he'd probably tell you that he likes girls who understand him and aren't too girly.

And if you asked even more, he might even give you a specific example of someone who fits into that category...

{RELATIONSHIPS:}

Anne Packrat: Typical Ranma and Akane relationship, in which insults culminate in a mallet. It's an argumentative rivalry, although recently they've begun to show remarkable restraint toward each other as the result of some unspoken and implicit truce. Or possibly because Anne can't mallet him anymore due to Joseph's ill-spoken wish.

Of course they like each other. They wouldn't be arguing otherwise.

Washu Hakubi: The surrogate mother/older sister of Joseph and Anne. The two mainly refer to her as "Washu-oneechan," though their feelings actually go much deeper than that.

Jude: Joseph admires her. She thinks he's cute. They go together.

Falora: A relationship of inequality. Falora tends to think of Joseph as a younger brother -- or an older one, when she forgets how old he is -- while Joseph thinks of her in, generally, a worried way. But like all his other friends, Joseph is extremely attached to her, an emotion to which she responds in kind. If Joseph confides in anyone, she's going to be one of them.

Kokutan: He really, really, really likes her. Problem is, he's very hurt by her backing off whenever he tries to close to her, which makes him question what she really thinks of him.

{DAILY LIFE:}

Joseph attends the sixth grade of the local elementary school with Anne. During the weekdays (and Saturday) he spends most of his time at school, but in the afternoons he'll spend his time doing his homework, tending the store, going to the Retreat, visiting friends, or reading a book. On the weekends he could be taking a walk in St. John's Park with Anne, generally hanging out with his friends, or spending his time at home with his family. Or, more often than not, playing with Anne and Falora.

In his spare time, he reads a variety of books and collects manga, both of which are easily accessible in Washu's Used Bookstore. He's also a fan of watching old B movies, American or Japanese, although in the sense of throwing his bile at the ensuing terrible cinema on the screen.

{QUOTES:}

"Oh, no, not again --"

"Funny... That's not supposed to happen."

"How can I explain this to you? ...Satan! Satan! He's Satan! We can't win! Satan!"

[WEAPONS & POWERS:]

{WEAPONRY:}

None. He's pretty much a pacifist, in the sense of not wanting to harm/kill anyone. But, he's still got the usual hitchhiking implements in his backpack, including towel and copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

{POWERS/SKILLS:}

Joseph is a victim of the nyannichuan, and is therefore cursed to become a girl at a splash of cold water, and back to a boy at a douse of hot. As a skill, this tends not to be useful except as a disguise, the opportunity for which does not often arise. Although it does open up the use of a variety of cuteness and kawaii techniques for boys and girls.

However, Joseph also suffers from the equivalent of the ancient Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times." According to quantum theory, a particle possesses a Schrödinger probability wave function that indicates every single state that that particle can possibly be in. Imagine it as a sort of cloud that surrounds the particle. The actual state of the particle is indeterminate, but the center of the cloud has the highest probability that the particle is there, with the likelihood reducing when you progress outward from the center. These wave functions can also be associated with larger objects, e.g., people.

The interesting thing about Joseph's probability wave function is that it has the ability to independently and temporarily alter the wave functions of other particles under certain conditions, thus causing a chain reaction that alters other particle wave functions, and so on, in order to achieve a specific result. The upshot of which is, astonishingly improbable events happen to him on a regular basis, such as his attraction of cold water, although curiously this ability also prevents any chance of an untimely death. If something strange is going to happen, it's probably going to happen to him.

It's important to note that this property of his is inherent to him and is thus not affected by a cursed form, nor is it sustained by any outside force. Of course, one reason Falora may have been sent to look over him is due to this curious phenomenon...

A dilettante at the core, Joseph tends to be able to quickly learn how to do most skills, although probably not very well. This is due to his high level of intelligence as well as his own way of quickly thinking on his feet, allowing him, when approaching problematic situations, to come up with a solution that is, if not efficient, is very effective. His quick thinking is matched with his quick reflexes, which have been carefully honed from almost dying several times over.

And despite its lack of usefulness in his current situation, Joseph is adept at the Caribbean School of Swordfighting, which consists of winning duels with insults and comebacks.

{WEAKNESSES:}

Besides being astonishingly weak, Joseph also is an attractor for unluckiness. Which is not to say that he'll get harmed, it's just that bad things are more likely to happen to him than anyone else.

Outside the realm of physical and superpower-related weaknesses, Joseph is also a sucker for crying, in any form. If you want to manipulate him into doing something, crying is probably your best bet.

Besides that, since Joseph is still a child, this causes people to severely underestimate him. Expect him to come up with brilliant ideas and solutions to problems that no-one will listen to.

Besides that -- Jo-chan really, really likes cute. As in, little kids and Sanrio and stuff like that. 'course, she only shows it when she's a girl...

[BACKGROUND:]

Joseph has a very sketchy background that he usually keeps to himself and his closest friends. (And it's not just because the author hasn't thought of it yet.)

Anyhow, Joseph has been deaged to eleven years old with Anne Packrat and thrown into the Kodocha dimension by Washu as an exercise in sensitivity, and also because she was sick and tired of hearing them argue all the time, although she may have other, less sinister underlying motives. He's been enrolled in Grade 6, Class 3 as Joseph Hakubi, Washu's child and Anne's brother. Or sister, if you prefer.

Shortly after returning home to Capow through unknown means that probably will never be revealed, Joseph and Anne took up residence in Washu's SubSpace lab, which has a dimensional hookup to Washu's Used Bookstore. During the day, the two go to the local elementary school, while in the evenings they tend the bookstore or visit friends at the Lurker's

Retreat.

Soon after adapting to this lifestyle, however, Joseph was visited by Falora, the Goddess of Luck, who was sent by Kami-sama to look after him. His wish -- that Anne not mallet him anymore -- was fulfilled. Of course, it doesn't stop Anne's hitting him with a variety of blunt objects located in HammerSpace. And of course, Anne can still mallet other people...

The hacker Jude came to visit with his older sister Washu to determine the nature of her powers. As a consequence, the meeting of Jude and Joseph caused him to form an instant attachment to her, which appears to have been reciprocated.

[ANIME INFLUENCES:]

Ranma Saotome (Ranma 1/2)
Futaba Aoi (Futaba-kun Change!)
Sana Kurata (Kodomo no Omocha)
Sasami (Tenchi Muyo!)
Mai (Emiko's Genesis)

[NON-ANIME INFLUENCES:]

Ford Prefect (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Rincewind (Discworld)
Lord Samuel Vimes (Discworld)
Angus MacGyver (MacGyver)
Erwin Schrödinger (Erwin Schrödinger)