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From: Ryan Matheuszik, Thu, 19 Feb 1998 21:50:00

Just thought you might want to see what happens when someone from one of my friend's Star Trek simms accidently adds me to their ML and then the others are too stupid to erase my name...

hee hee hee. (Stop that laughing! He's evil!! - Chika)
(think we should pu it in the library?) (What do you think?!? - Chika)

Space. Lots and lots of space. With thousands of twinkly little... er... Analysis, Mr. Spock!
They appear to be stars, Captain.
Oh yeah. These are the voyages of the Starship CAPOW, it's ongoing mission to seek out new lifeforms and new civilisations and totally fry them; to boldly...
Ahhhh screw it! It's those Dreep Space Ninny bozos, anyhow! Spock, you're an idiot!


A CAPOW-let from Ryan Matheuszik, originally started by someone else... hehehe

     Curzon Dax had received orders that he was to meet in the Observation room at 1200. He had thirty minutes to go. While walking through the hall, he thought about Jadak. Wonderful, lovely Jadak. But as he entered his quarters, he remembered his orders. Because he dawdled, he only had 15 min. to get ready. He quickly undressed and had a shower. When he finished he got out, he replicated a new air of pants and shirt. He put them on and walked out of the room.

*************************Observation Deck*****************************

     Petty Officer Dax walked in to the room, there appeared to be no one there. He went over to a console and sat down. To wait

      Sitting down he noticed a large, glowing rip in the space time continuum. Walking over he did what thousands of other people who take their lives into their own hands on a daily basis have done in similar situations. He stuck his head through. For a minute all that could be seen on the observation deck was a body with it's head stuck through a portal. Then suddenly the work "LURKER!" could be heard shouted from the other side of the portal, and Curzon was pulled through.

***************** The Lurker's Retreat, Japan, Earth *********************

      Ryan was sitting at the bar munching on a bag of donuts and conversing with Joseph. Over on the far side of the bar Jinx and Sibler (her wolf) were playing a game of checkers with Pixel while Anne looked on, surrounded by her shikigamis. Madoka was, as usual, behind the bar polishing glasses. Just then a head appeared out of the wall near the door. Ryan looked up, said nothing, and turned back towards Joseph, who had also decided to ignore the fairly unstrange (for this dimension) occurrence. However, just then Emiko walked in. She looked at the head. The head looked back. She stared at the head. The head smiled back. Emiko took a deep breath, yelled "LURKER!" and produced a suitably large mallet with which to bash the head. Unfortunately the impact produced the unforeseen side effect of causing a body to follow the head through the wall and onto the floor.

      "Nice shot there Emiko," grumbled Madoka, "now we've got ANOTHER lurker around here." Emiko grinned sheepishly. Moments later Mai-chan walked through the door. "Why are we standing in the doorway Emiko-sempai," she began, but then noticed the strangely clad individual on the floor. She ran up to Curzon, who was picking himself up off of the floor, and threw her arms around his waist, which was the furthest point up his body that she could reach. "SUGOII! Hi Mr. Weird Spaceman Guy!" she gushed. Curzon felt confused, but also strangely happy. Then Mai noticed Ryan, and she noticed his donuts. "Ryan!" she squealed, launching herself across the room to jump into Ryan's lap, grabbing a donut as she landed. Unfortunately her exuberance caused a glass of water to go flying, and with the unerring aim of fate, to land directly on Joseph. Joseph got up, wet, and now female. "You got a towel?" he asked Madoka.

      Curzon, finding his voice at last, pointed at Jo-chan (formerly Joseph) and stammered "How...".

      The whole bar chimed in: "He fall into spring of drowned girl. Very tragic story of girl who fall into spring 1100 year ago. Now whoever fall into spring take form of drowned girl."

      "Shaddup." concluded Joseph.

      "Umm, excuse me," said Emiko, pointing a strange looking device at Curzon, "but you're not from this dimension, and in fact, you're not even here legally. I'm afraid as an officer of the ACD I must ask you to come with me."

      Curzon looked at Emiko. He didn't know where he was, or who these people were, but he DID know that he was supposed to meet Jadak in less than 10 minutes, and he was damned if he was going to go with these strangers. He dropped into a combat crouch and shot out a leg towards Emiko.

      Emiko, caught off guard, went down. Curzon leapt up and ran towards the far end of the room, but all of a sudden a large shape loomed up in front of him.

      "Listen, you're not going anywhere," said Ryan calmly. And he was right. Curzon aimed a kick for Ryan's throat, and was rewarded with a hurt foot and the dull clang of a federation issue boot impacting with metal.

      Ryan reached out and grabbed Curzon by the back of his collar, and hoisted him about a foot off the ground. "Listen you," he said, his voice full of menace, "you're coming downtown with Emiko and me."

************** Back on the Observation Deck, ST Dimension ***************

      "Where the HELL is he?" wondered Jadak. "Probably off enjoying himself somewhere..."

******* Local CAPOW Branch of the ACD, Intradimensional location ********

      "We appreciate you and the MPD helping us on this" Eric continued, thanking Ryan, "He's defiantly lost. He's not even from an anime dimension." "I coulda stopped him myself..." Emiko grumbled from the corner, where she was trying her best to stay angry despite the fact that Mai was clamped to her waist. "Unfortunately, even though he is a threat to continuity around here, we're simply not equipped to access his dimension." continued Eric. "Perhaps you two should take him to visit Washuu...."

******* Washuu's Subspace laboratory, Somewhere near The Retreat *********

      "I'm not knocking, you knock." said Ryan. "Forget it!" Countered Emiko, "I already had 'samples' taken." The two continued arguing until they noticed that Mai had already knocked. "There's nobody home sempai", she said, giggling. "What now?" Emiko asked no-one in particular. Ryan looked relieved. "Well, we could always try Dr. Feelgood I guess..." he said, pulling a business card emblazoned with the Dr.'s name from his pocket.

***** Middle of an abandoned field, somewhat farther from The Retreat *****

      "This is it?" asked Emiko. "Ummm, that's what the card says," replied Ryan, "1162 Okanawa Dr., which is where we are." Emiko kicked at some dirt, and missed. She missed because the dirt had moved, or, more specifically, the ground had opened up beneath the group. "Shit." was all Ryan managed to get out.

****** Somewhere under an abandoned field, Doc Feelgood's Laboratory ******

      "Rrrrryan? Iz that you?"

      Ryan looked up at Dr. Feelgood's face. "Doc?" he queried.

      "I rrreally must look at having zat fixed." said the doctor, ushering his guests into his lab. "Now, vat zeeemz to be ze prrrroblem?" he asked.

      Mai jumped into his lap and recounted the story.

      "Vell, zat iz eazy to fix." said Dr. Feelgood after hearing the story. "Ze zolution haz thrrrree eazy stepz."

      "Ztep one," he continued, grabbing a terrified Curzon and throwing him into a strange looking machine, "iz to encase ze subjekt frrrrrozen in carbonite."

     A large block exited the machine. Curzon was recognisable frozen in a look of absolute terror.

      "Ztep two, we affix ze proper addrrrress unt poztage." rambled Dr. Feelgood as he scribble a long string of words on the side of the carbonite block and affixed sever dozen large stamps to it.

      "Unt lastly ve call Ace'z Deliverrrry Zerrrvice."

************* back in ST dimension, Observation Deck ****************

      Jadak was about ready to leave. She'd been waiting for almost an hour.

      Just then a rocket bike flew into the room from, apparently, nowhere.

      It landed right next to Jadak.

      "Sign here please." said an individual who's nametag identified him as "Ace Ban Dage. Anything, Anytime, Anywhere."

      Jadak, stunned, signed the paper.

      "Here ya go, enjoy." said Ace, kicking a large, paper-wrapped object off of the rear of his bike and then flying away.

      "I wonder what it could be...." thought Jadak.....

heh heh heh. don't make me kidnap more of your characters into CAPOW. ^_-

CAPOW: Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated, baka.

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