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Battle Mode!

Or: When your characters take over ICQ...
     A perfectly normal day at the Arisugawa Dojo. Birds singing in the tree branches, the little river in the garden gurgling along peacefully...
     ... and the obligatory battle cries of the dojoīs two seitos, once again engaging each other in a furious life-and/or-death battle.
     "Hah! What are you trying to do? Bore me to death?" Yugo mocked, leaning on his umbrella with that typical lobsided smile on his face.
     "Oh, Iīm not going to hurt you," Jay answered, getting up. "Iīm goint to KILL YOU!!!"
     "Hooboy, Iīm _soooo_ scared! Liīl Aliceīs angry! Whoooo, whoooo, help me, Iīm as good as dead." Yugo grabbed his parasol and switched into battle stance. "Pah!"
     "You couldnīt even kill a _rat_ with that stick," Jay returned the taunt.
     "STICK!?!" Small flames of red Qi ran along Yugo - his battle aura built itself up. "Why you... Iīll give you stick! Take this!!" The extraterrestrian charged forward, and with a channel of his Qi, set his umbrella on fire.
     "UMBRELLA FIRE STRIKE!" he yelled, and instantly propelled himself for- and upward while jerking up his parasol weapon.
     Jay simply dodged sideways and let Yugo jump into thin air. "What?" He held out a hand and looked skywards. "Itīs not raining! Why did you take out the stick?"
     "Hooo...hooo..." Yugo struggled to keep himself under control. "This sacrilege screams to be cleansed with blood... your blood, half-japsic sissie!"
     Jay looked up, piku-ed twice, and sweatdropped. "Err... What didya say? I wasnīt paying attention..."
     That was it. When he had recovered from his facfault, Yugoīs battle aura burst into a bright red flame. "You will pay for this! Face me and fight like the man you arenīt!"
     Jay nodded. "Hai, Im always ready for a fight!" He grabbed the hilt of his katana but didnīt draw it - yet. "Ikuzo!"
     "HIYAAAAAAA!!!!!" Yugo broke into a sprinting start with his umbrella "drawn".
     The thoughts Jay had in these seconds ran along the lines of: 'Um..... Lessee... What should I do..? I could slash him downwards... But that stupid umbrella is blocking his chest... Or I could... *Sigh* Decisions, decisions....' He decided to simply jump backwards and dodge Yugoīs attacks until he could decide what to do. Thus Yugoīs attacks only hit air, making sounds like *SLASH*, *WHOOSH*, *ZACK*, *ZIP*, and not to mention, *WHIZZ*.
     "Stop-- stop dodging, you dumb earthling and-- and face me like a real fighter!" Yugo panted.
     Jay didnīt listen to his fellow seito and just continued to jump; then suddenly, his face brightened. He grabbed the katana with both his hands and smashed it into Yugo's head - still in the scabbard of course. "That better?" he asked with a grin.
     "Ouch!" Yugo jumped back. "You! YOU!! Oooh, if I ever get my hands on you...!"
     "Youīll _what_?" Jay asked, still grinning.
     Yugo stroke his chin in thought. "I dunno. Probably disembowl you or somming like that."
     "Sensei wouldnīt like that..." Jay mentioned.
     "Hmmm..." Yugo pondered this. "No he wonīt," he then said with an Evil Grin, "But I will enjoy every second of it."
     Jay just reached out and twacked Yugo for that.
     "Hey! Smashing me with your scabbard, okay, but no twacking!" Yugo said with disgust.
     Jay cocked an eyebrow. "Why not?"
     "īCause if you do, Iīll get _really_ mad."
     "Oh, sorry..." Jay took his katana again and whammed his opponent with the scabbard instead.
     Yugo nodded. "Thatīs better. But remember: no more twacking!" Yugo stopped and pikued. "Erh... matte yo... didnīt you just hit me on the head hard with that scabbard of yours?"
     "Yep!" Jay grinned.
     "Aha. Good." Yugo nodded, and said, "Which reminds me. Ouch!" Then he changed back to battle stance once more. "Ah, thatīs better," he said with relief. "Now letīs get back to business. IYAAAAAAAA!!!"
     Suddenly, an angry voice yelled, "STOP YOU FOOLS!" Their Sensei appeared, his bamboo walking/thrashing stick in his hand.
     "S-s-sensei!?" Yugo automatically stopped his assault and changed his facial expression from 'Angry' to 'Normal'. "He started it! It was him!" he whined, pointing at Jay. Sensei didnīt say anything and just glared at the younger seito.
     "No I wasnīt!" Jay tried to defend himself. Sensei sighed and, for justiceīs sake, whammed the two of them.
     "Ouch!" Yugo exclaimed, rubbing his head.
     "Itee..." Jay stated in agreement.
     "You two!" their Sensei bellowed, "Clean the dojo! Now!"
     "Yeah yeah..." Jay replied and glared at Yugo. "mumble mumble baka Yugo..."
     "Yes Sensei," Yugo said, and glared back. "grumble mumble I heard that mumble grumble baka yourself grumble mumble..."
     A glare from their Sensei stopped them. The old man went into the house nad came back with a mop in each hand, which he handed to Jay and Yugo. The first sighed, took the mop, and started cleaning. Suddenly, he got whammed by his Sensei again.
     "HEY!" Jay shouted, "WHAT DID _I_ DO?!?"
     "Yugo-kun told me you started all this..." Sensei said with a glare from under his bushy gray eyebrows.
     "And you believe him?" Jay whined.
     Yugo just snickered. "Heehee..." Then he, too, earned himself a solid *WHAM*. "Ararara... what was that one for, Sensei?" The old man just whammed him again. "Ouch!" Yugo whined. Sensei wiggled his bamboo stick at the Antareesian. "For telling me Jay started it."
     "Weird old man..." Jay said to himself, mopping the floor. Obviously he hadnīt reckoned with his Senseiīs good hearing, and got whammed yet again. "Okay, I deserved that..." the half-japanese teenager admitted.
     Several hours later...
     Yugo stretched and groaned when his back made a crackling sound. "Argh, my back!" he said to no-one in particuliar, since Jay was laying on the floor with a X_X expression. Yugo looked down at him, realized his chance and...
     "Take this, fiend!"
     ...mopped Jay.
     "AHG----" Jay managed to mumble through the mop.
     "Heeheeharrharr!!" Yugo laughed his rear off, but a call from another room interrupted him. "What are you two doing?"
     "Er... nothing! Just mopping!" Yugo answered with a snicker.
     "Yeah, mopping..." Jay got up and shot Yugo a hot glare.
     "Heehee..." Yugo laughed lowly. "That was for the 'stick'."
     "Hai hai," Jay sighed.
     "Ah, you admit you deserved it! Hah, you earthlings are weak creatures."
     Jayīs reply was to burry the mop's stick in Yugoīs belly.
     "Urgl...!" the assaulted gurgled.
     "And what planet are _you_ from?" Jay growled.
     "Why, from the beautiful and far more advanced planet of Antarees of course!" Yugo proclaimed. "Canīt you see my antennas? Or my fangs?" He grinned widely, showing off said teeth.
     Jay just whammed him thrice with the wooden mop.
     "Uck! Ack! Irckl!" Yugo coughed. "Araaaa, stop it alright?"
     Jay said nothing. But his eyes told everything.
     "Today you wonīt suffer my wrath - Iīve got better things to do." Yugo said, running his hand through his wild hair.
     Yugo began to drool. "Three words: HOT BABES!!!"
     "Thatīs two..." Jay mumbled, but aloud he said, "Er... Where?"
     "Anywhere! BABESSSSS!! YESSS!!!" Yugo grinned and made the Victory sign.
     "Got a date? If so, with whom?" Jay asked curiously. "I want to know whom I have to pity."
     "Dates, pah, who needs īem! Babes just fly on a guy like me! Iīve got everything, muscles _and_ money!"
     Jay looked at Yugo with an eyebrow cocked. ". . . yeah, right."
     Yugo silenced his enemy with a glare, but decided not to punish him for questioning his status as a playboy. Instead, he just walked off in search of a victim. Jay watched him vanish around the next corner, waited a few seconds, and when he heard the shout "HENTAI!" and a loud *WHAM!*, he tsk-ed and went to their room.
     Sikaryan leaned back in his chair. "Well, I think we made it without any significant damage to reality this time." He looked over to the figure on the other side of the room, sitting in front of the other computer. "Ne toutochan?"
     "Hai Niichan!" RL-Jay nodded. Then he sweatdropped and asked, "Is that good or bad?"
     Sikaryan made a puzzled face and said, "I guess thatīs... good, isnīt it?"
     RL-Jay didnīt reply, so Sikaryan guessed he was right, and went off in search of something to eat.

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