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Another Katt & Dachend Story

by Lorna

Y'know, I don't know if I ever did send this on to the Story list.. This is *old* ..Written in July 1998. It all started on Ryan's statement of "Y'know, Ranma and Nuku Nuku both take place in Nerima" .. The things I find while I'm searching for Keon's address. (Which I still haven't found)

Dachend rubbed his eyes and glanced at the sun. Way too early, if that stupid drug dealer had kept normal hours he could have been home in bed hours ago. But no, the stupid, annoying, child killing fuck had to endhis day by visiting elementary schools and it had taken Dachend almost till seven in the god damn morning tofind the piece of shit. It was way to early for this.

Katt went jogging past, carrying a brief case and her travelling tool kit.

Dachend looked at her as she jogged off, appreciating the rear view with a smug grin. She seemed to be off in a hurry .. he recognised that look in her eyes -- where had he seen it before, he mused. Somewhere.. Ah, yes, on the face of every Japanese girl who was late for class. That made the Wu pause.. Why would Katt be late for class?

Katt turned the corner on the High School and dashed up the stairs just as the final bell rang ; she didn't feel too bad, others were late as well .. all female.. all seeming to be in their second to last year. The most surprising was the girl with the dark red - purple hair who tore up on a bicycle. "Meow! Sorry me late!" the girl called to the young boy who climbed off, the girl then piled past all the other girls at top speed. Katt just sweat dropped at the sight.

Suddenly a crowd of boys was gathering. Every sport possible seemed to be represented. Katt tugged on the sleeve of a fencer. "Excuse me, what is happening?"

"Akane Tendo will be here soon!"

"Uh.. Okay.." Katt decided that perhaps it would just be best to back up and let the boys have their fun -- after all, she was just a substitute teacher, what did she know?

A tomboy jumped the fence with a strange Chinese dressed boy trailing behind her. "Guys! I thought you gave this up!" She called in disgust as the boys all started to converge on her.

"But Akane! Our love is eternal, we will prove it to you by defeating you in battle!" A sumo wrestler called to the girl who dropped into a fighting stance.

"Kuno, I am going to so kill you." The girl, apparently named Akane muttered. There was a thunder crack in the sky.

The strangely dressed boy suddenly looked worried, "Uh, Akane, I uh, gotta go.."

"Fine! Who needs you *anyway* RANMA." The girl shot back, ducking as a golfer took a swing with his golf club. Akane then promptly grabbed the golf club and helped him follow through on his swing. The boy kissed asphalt lovingly and was oblivious to the world. The skies opened up into rain.

Katt promptly pulled out her mech wrench. "ENOUGH!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. She was actually really impressed at the way her voice echoed. The boys and Akane both turned to face her. "All of you! To class, NOW!" The Elven woman called, "Or I teach you mechanics 101 the hard way!" She slapped the wrench against her hand a couple of times.

"Uh, sorry.." the boys started muttering, hanging their heads and headed into the school. Akane walked past defiantly. Katt sighed. Japanese High Schools certainly were interesting!

Katt walked into the mechanics classroom and looked about. Boys were sleeping on desks, drawing on the chalk boards, laughing, taunting and being stereotypical sixteen year old boys. Katt casually walked up to the first sleeping boy and brought her mech wrench down on the desk with a resounding *boom!* The boy jumped a foot straight up in the air, white as a ghost.

"Good morning," Katt said overly sweetly. The class just stared at her. She turned from the boy who was trying to get his heart back into his chest from his throat to the class. "I'm Kattarina Delshard, I am your substitute teacher for the week. Now, if you will all sit down, I will go over the design of fuel injection in the standard car, then next block we'll take one apart."

Katt spent a very enjoyable hour teaching the boys who seemed almost terrified of her. It kind of made her feel good, like she was in control, like she had power, respect and most importantly, their attention. Maybe she could almost understand why Dachend went around threatening everyone and beating them up .. well, maybe she wouldn't go *that* far.

She leaned out the window to watch a full attack helicopter starting to open fire on the gymnasium. Katt's eyes opened and she prepared to summon her sword and armour when she saw the same girl with red - purple hair run out. "Meow! Nuku Nuku not supposed to play during school! Bad Mama-san's friends!" Katt watched in amazement as the young teenage girl beat the snot out of the helicopter and the pilots within. The girl then went back to algebra. Katt shook her head as the ambulance arrived.

She decided maybe a cup of tea was in order, she cleaned up the room a bit and then headed down to the teacher's lounge. As she stepped out into the hallway, a boy walked past. He was carrying a backpack with a red umbrella tied to it. "Excuse me - can you tell me where I could find Ranma Saotome?" He asked, head bowed respectfully.

*OH!* Katt thought you herself, *He's really yummy for .. uh .. a kid..* Muscles, a cute shy smile, an aura of innocence.. Would make a naughtier Elf want to take him home with her and .. Thankfully Katt just wasn't that type of Elf! "Sure, that shouldn't be a problem, if you want I can lead you to the office and you can have him paged." Katt tried her best to smile cutely.

The boy blushed. "Thank you, that would be greatly appreciated."

Katt smiled again leading him off. She later saw the boy fighting with the boy with the pig tail who was dressed in Chinese clothing. Katt shrugged, boys will be boys.

Katt sighed and leaned back in the chair at her desk. It had been a long day, she wasn't sure now why she'd accepted the offer to teach in the stead of Mr. Nagashima, who apparently had been injured during a demon infestation. (Where was Dachend when he was needed, she had wondered) Perhaps it had been curiosity at finding out why Japanese schools were considered the most dangerous place in the world (barring basements in mid-western towns during thunderstorms when the power was out -- and how often could *that* happen?) Not that Katt really minded, it was just between all the martial arts fighting, the helicopter attack, the two tanks and the EVA half the school had been destroyed, her students had spent most of the day gawking instead of studying and she now had a ton of paperwork.

It could have been worse of course if *her* classroom had been destroyed. She'd heard that teachers in the High Schools in the Nerima district either came from a long line of kamikaze pilots or were slightly suicidal. All, of course, had black belts in the ancient art of chalk throwing. Katt felt rather out of place.

A shadow shifted behind her.

After all, she was just a single elf, really, what could she do? Sure she was the best mechanic around who could fix practically *anything* (she had yet to run into anything mechanical she *couldn't* fix.), who had a cute nose, slender build and the attentions of the hunkiest bachelor in town, but was she a good teacher?

The Shadow on the wall suddenly grinned, teeth sharper than ginsu knives gleamed darkly against its backdrop. The Shadow started to sneak towards the young Elf.

She had quick reflexes, a sixth sense for trouble.. Katt stopped in mid-litany, summoned her sword and stuck it through the Shadow that was trying to sneak up on her. The Shadow howled in pain. "Oh shush" she muttered at it. Where was she? Stupid minor demon had made her lose her train of thought. She pushed away her desk and started to walk to the back of the room. Suddenly a larger, worse smelling demon materialised on the desk, sending it into splinters. "Oh great, let me guess, you're the one who hospitalised Nagashima-san?" She started backing up quickly.

The seven foot tall monstrosity that had green scales of a dragon, the head of a dog and the tail of a lion grinned down at her. "Of course. I shall claim this place of learning as my own. I shall feed off the spirits and dark emotions of the children here. I shall be rich and well fed. I just have to defeat one of the guardians. And everyone knows that mechanic teachers are .. losers." The demon stepped off the splintered remains of the desk and started to wade through the student desks for Katt.

Katt grabbed her mech wrench, wishing she dared summon back her sword but didn't want to take her chances freeing the Shadow. Katt charged at the demon, who was quite shocked by the manoeuvre, pushed off the ground for a high leap, narrowly missed the ceiling, came in close to the demon and bashed him squarely upside the head. The demon was sent flying to the side through desks and into the wall with a loud crash. It sat there stunned for a few moments as Katt gracefully landed on one foot and smiled prettily. "I am *not* a loser!" she corrected. "Now, will you go away and let me do my paperwork or are you going to make this difficult?"

The demon stumbled to it's feet, shaking it's shaggy head, no short little elf was going to get the better of it! It charged her, calling forth a blade of cold fire as it went. It struck down where the insolent whelp stood to find her already leaping into the air as he swung down. She somersaulted off his head, the sword hit the floor with a mighty sick slurping sound as it tried to eat the soul of linoleum, and a mech wrench waked him in the butt. Once again the demon went flying.

He managed to keep ahold of his sword, but it did him little good, he was too stunned to stand and the little Elf had the gall to come up to him, grab him by the ear and twist his head down to her level. "Never come back or I'll kick your butt again."

The demon gurgled a bit of an apology and said it would go away nicely if she would just let go. Katt warily released the demon's ear and backed away. The demon looked sheepish and ashamed and disappeared in a show of thunder.

"Bra- fucking - vo." A cynical voice called from the doorway. There, casually leaning up against the doorframe stood Dachend. Dracho'xian rested lightly over one shoulder. "But, uh, he has friends." Dachend nodded to where a small hoard of demons were popping into existence.

"Waaah!" Katt cried, "I'll never get my work done at this rate!"

"Want some help?" Dachend asked almost sincerely, a lopsided grin on his face. He'd gotten some sleep, gotten some food too, so he felt just about in the mood to wack a bunch of minor nasties. Somehow he knew he'd find trouble as soon as he found Katt. Maybe that's why he liked her so.

Katt batted the mech wrench against the palm of her hand a couple of times, "Not just yet I don't!" She advanced on the demons, a small hoard of about 20 of them so far, thankful mostly minor.

*Ahem* Dracho started in Dachend's mind, *Do you really think she can take them all? They're still popping in -- we should at least close the gateway into this realm*

*Not yet,* Dachend sent back *Let 'er have 'er fun first.* Dachend wasn't about to admit to his sword companion that he found this spirited, gutsy Katt rather -- inspiring to a certain track of thoughts that were probably not suitable. he especialy liked the fact that she for the most of the time wore a pair of short cut of jeans and a tank top, when he came visiting.

Before Katt could get in the first swing and girl with a really stupid hair-do jumped in the window. She seemed to be brandishing some really dorky looking wand. "Uh - I'm Sailor Moon and in the name of the moon -- " She got pushed out the window by a demon. About ten of the foul creatures jumped out after her with gleeful laughter and clattering off teeth. "LUUUUUUUUNA..!" came the cry.

"Uhm, Dach -- " Katt said, sweatdropping.

"Yes, Katt?" Dachend asked in that sickly sweet manner.

"How come there's so many famous people here and yet none of them are really doing anything about this menace?"

Dachend grinned, "Call it bribing the fates for some lime light, now get on with it.." he said with a smug grin and gestrured towards the still growing mob of giggling, farting, burping, belching minor demons "make me proud" he added.

Blushing Katt took a firm grip on her wrench and approached the waving bloob of small hairy bodies. She had a strange impression that the mob infact was making waves, much better coordianted than any bassball stadium audience could make. The strange chant reached her ears and she cocked an eyebrow. It wasn't a chant, they were singing "666 innocent virgins on the wall"

Then one of the small freaks saw here and lunged, Katt noted that these small creatures where in fact furballs, with a small set of clawed hands and feet. two glowing eyes in the black fur and a maw filled with long teeth.

Katt swung the wrench and smacked the jumping imp acroos the room and onto the wall, with a back hand that any pro tennisplay would grow envious on.

Then the hoard for the first time really realised that she was there, the mob surged forward and surounded her. Swinging her wrench, she held them back, but she could sense how they swept forward every time she turned her back at them, then it happed "OOW!!!" yelped Katt and turned staring at the imps, that grinned fiendishly up at her. Katt's face turned an very deep red, deeper than her hair. It had pinched her in the rump.

The sea of fur continued it's giggling, farting, burping and bleching, then one noticed Katt's expression and slowly the crowd grew calm, dead calm.

Dachend waved his hand like he had burned it "Bad thing to do.."

In a hysteric panic the small demons fled the room, Katt sending the unfortunate ones close enorgh for her to strike, wailling across the heads of their companions out of the door, accompanied by a very interresting set of well choosen words.

then Katt turned to Dachend and wiped her forehead "So how was that?"

Dachend shrugged "Scary, remind me never to pinch you" Katt blushed. Dachend added calm "Well, you cleared them out pretty well, but what are you gonna do about their big brothers?" he nodded towards the group of furballs that appeared, completely alike the previous, only these were more than a meter in diameter.

Katt back up a bit "Dachend, about that help..?"

Dachend shok his head "Tsk tsk, at the first sign of trouble, you ask for help" he pulled Dracho'xian of his shoulder and drew out some green wards with a wicked grin "Okay, let's sick'em!"

Katt looked around at the mess, looked around at Dachend who seemed to be catching his breath and back around at the room. She ran up and gave Dachend a big, huge hug. "Oh! Thank you! That was fun!"

"Fun?!" Dachend repeated, in slight surprise.

"Yeah! When can we do it again?!" Katt asked, eyes gleaming.

Dachend scratched his head, eyeing the elf. Had Yeralanor's spell worked after all? "I thought you hated fighting?"

"I hate fighting thinking, caring beings, I hate fighting humans, humanoids, creatures for the potential of good, who could change their ways, who could learn, who could love.. Who may have good reasons for what they do -- but demons are just icky! They're created from the nasty thoughts of all beings and can be nothing *but* nasty."

"Er, right." Dachend returned the hug, she didn't seem like she was going to let go any time soon -- not that he was about to complain!

Katt eventually let go, trying to get her pulse to slow down. "Now! I - uh," she blushed suddenly, from the roots of her hair to the tips of her ears, "I, uh- have to do even more paperwork now!" Katt whirled and started picking papers out of the remains of her desk.

Dachend grinned and went back to holding the wall up. "I'll be here."

The Shadow still sat by her desk with the sword sticking out of it.

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