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Opposites Day

a CAPOW tale

Editor's comments and additions (excepting spelling/grammar/punctuation/ sentence structure) are within [brackets]

[Carrie wrote:]

        Kokutan opened her eyes and yawned. The sun was shining, she had slept well and felt damn good. She smiled to herself as she threw off the cover to her futon. She made her way to the bathroom only stumbling a few times. As she stood in front of the mirror she cracked her neck and closed her eyes in relief from the bult up pressure. Then she opened her eyes.

        "BROWN!?!? When the hell did I have brown eyes?" Kokutan wondered leaning in closer to the mirror. "Maybe I'm still half asl..OMIGAWD!! I have no ears!"

        She grabbed at the top of her head only to grab fistfuls of long hair. However that lifted up her hair to show her where she now had ears. She smacked her palms against the sides of her head. Warily she took them off...yup...human ears! She quickly opened her mouth and frantically ran a finger across her teeth. Her fangs were gone too!!

        "SHIT!! What the hell is going on?!"

        Then a slight draft made her look behind her and eep in surprise. She quickly covered the hole where her tail normally would have gone thru. She looked back at her reflection in the mirror. She looked...almost...


[Dare wrote:]

        Hikaru Chisa knocked on the door to Kimiko's apartment. There wasn't an answer. She didn't expect one, since Kimiko was supposed to be at the office. Yet the door was unlocked. Odd, she thought. She cracked the door open a bit. She hoped it wasn't burglars. She had taken a bit of self-defense training as part of being a celebrity but she didn't think she could take on a bunch of punks.

        She opened the door slowly and heard someone crying. It was a woman's voice. Relieved, she opened the door all the way and stepped inside.On the table near the living room was Kimiko's purse and gun.

        "Kimi-chan?" Hikaru called out, "are you here?"

        "I'm in here.." a soft voice called out.

        Hikaru peered around the corner to the small den where Kimiko's television was. She was sitting in front of it with tissues in one hand, drying her eyes. The television was on too but Hikaru couldn't see what she was watching from her angle.

        "Kimiko, what's wrong?" Hikaru asked concernedly.

        "Oh.. it's nothing really.." she started, gasping for air, "but Mamoru just died."


        "Mamoru.. you know, Usagi's boyfriend? And now Sailor Galaxia is going to kill all the other senshi."

        Hikaru blinked. What in kami-sama's name was she talking about? She walked into the den and turned around. There on the screen was an episode of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon.

        "Sad, isn't it?" Kimiko sniffed.

        "Mamoru just died?" Hikaru repeated. "You're watching Sailor Moon?" she asked incredulously.

        "Well he died at the beginning but they just revealed it." Kimiko dabbed her eyes.

        "How come your phone is off the hook? How come you're not at work? Why are you watching anime? I thought you hated anime!"

        Kimiko waved her hands frantically. "Move move! You're blocking the tv!" Hikaru sweatdropped, moved out of the way just as the Sailor Senshi were getting pummeled by Galaxia's attacks. She watched Kimiko watching with intensity and genuine horror. She put a hand on her forehead.

        "The phone?" Kimiko said without looking at her childhood friend. "I took it off the hook. I didn't want anyone bothering me."

        "I thought something was wrong too! I called and the line was busy for the last 3 hours. Is this what you've been doing all day?"


        Hikaru blinked at that response. "How come you're not at work?"

        "I don't think I can go to work and bear this sort of tragedy too."

        "It's just a television show!"

        "Quiet, I'm missing the plot!" Kimiko hissed.

        "What plot?! Chibi-chibi is really Galaxia's star seed and in the end they all get ressurrected."

        Kimiko jumped to her feet. "What? Aw, you just ruined it! Thanks a lot!"

        "What's wrong with you today?" Hikaru took the phone and placed it back on the cradle. Almost instantly it began ringing. Hikaru nearly jumped. She picked it up tentatively. "Moshi moshi? ... Kimiko-san? Uh.. she's a bit busy now."

        "Who is it?" Kimiko asked. "Is it the chief?"

        "Uh.. she's dealing with a personal problem... is she sick? oh yes very sick." She gave Kimiko a glare. "Why? Uh.. loss of a close family member ... Mamoru.. err. her distant uncle .. did I say close? Umm I meant they were close but distant ... what do you mean that doesn't make sense, you probably never had an uncle! ... okay ... okay .... I'll tell her.. yes she's very sorry.. ja ne."

        "Was that the chief?" asked Kimiko again.

        "Yes and he said if you don't get your butt into work tomorrow you're going to have a little pay deduction."

        Kimiko waved her off. "Whatever... now that you've ruined everything for me, maybe I should start watching the Tenchi Muyo LD's."

        "I'm leaving," Hikaru said flatly.


        Hikaru exited the den. She walked back in. "Oh, by the way, Kimiko-otaku-san, I was one of the monsters-of-the-day for that anime." She walked back out.

        Kimiko's eyes lit up like fireworks. "YOU WERE, IRUMI-CHAN??!!! Come back! Ne, tell me about the other anime you were in! Were you in Gunbuster? I think I heard your voice in one episode. Ne? Ne? Irumi-chan!!!" All she heard was her front door slamming shut.

[Dare's] notes: for those of you who aren't familiar with Kimiko's quirks, she doesn't like anime.

[Dot wrote:] Opposites Day--Hide and Seek

        Talon lifted up the thick cloth which draped over the table. "Found you! Now it's my turn!"

        "Okay!" Samui crawled out from under the table. "Ready?"

        Talon gave Samui a thumbs up. "Ready!"

        Samui covered her eyes and began to count. "One, two, three..."

        "Remember, no hiding in the machines!" Washuu reminded Talon.

        "I won't, Aunt Washuu!" Talon called back.

        "Aunt Washuu?" Shelly repeated, snickering. "Makes you feel old, doesn't it?"

        "Like you should talk," Washuu shot back. "You're not even supposed to be here."

        Shelly laughed and tucked a stray strand of cheek-length silvery gray hair behind her ear. "Touché." She took a sip out of her tea cup. "But I wouldn't have missed this for the world." She glanced over to where Samui and Talon were playing. Both of them looked like miniature versions of their adult selves, except Samui's hair had a softer, downy look to it, while Talon's hair exploded everywhere in an unmanagable mess. "Look at them. So happy and carefree." She sighed.

        "Hey, hey, this is supposed to be a humorous story," Washuu chided playfully, shaking a finger at Shelly.

        Shelly grinned. "Right. Now is not the time to angst." She leaned back in her seat and continued to watch the two children enjoy themselves.

--Yggsadril World Computer--         Skuld threw down the diagnostic printouts in frustration. "I give up! This is just too confusing."

        Urd nodded. "For once, I agree with you."

        Belldandy let out a long sigh. "Murphy's Law of Improbability [1] strikes again."

        "Maybe if we sit here long enough, the problem will go away on its own," Peroth muttered, sifting through more data.

        All four Goddesses contemplated this for a moment.

        "Nah," they said in unison.

[1] The less likely something is to happen, the more chaos will result if it does happen. See also Ranma 1/2.

[Joseph wrote:]

        There was a creak of a door.

        Talon tiptoed carefully into the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

        It was, in many respects, a typical boy's room. Light, solid colors decorated the room simply. Posters of mecha occasionally punctuated the blank walls. Clothes were strewn messily about the room, thrown randomly on the floor and draped over the edge of the bed.* An interesting groove of clothing, however, marked the owner's paces that frequently occurred when he thought. Two filled bookcases stood in the corner of the room, containing books from a field researcher's edition of the Guide to a copy of Hyperspace to a set of Boxcar Children books.

        The non-typical aspect was the stuffed Ryo-ohki slightly hidden beneath the bedcovers. Sometimes, you just have to let children indulge themselves.

        Talon stared at the bed. Large, lumpy, comfy.

        She'd never find him here...


        Mounds of printout filled the room.

        Skuld waded carefully through the piles of paper. The formerly ever-present mechanical noises of data output had, for the moment, ceased.

        And her sisters had gone off to check the problem out manually. Leaving her here to figure out how to fix everything.

        She dived into the sea of wood pulp and managed to find the Yggdrasil terminal.

        Alone, she mentally added.

        "But I can't do it without their help!" said the goddess, to no-one that could hear her.




"Not agaaaaain..."


        Samui noticed quite a lot of things, despite her age. Details were very seldom hidden to her.

        For example, she noticed the misshapen lump under the blankets.

        Samui was also a very active little girl.

        She jumped headlong into the bed with a cheerful yell. "Found you!"

        "Awww..." Talon poked his head out from under the covers. "How come you always win?"

        "'cause I know where all the hiding places are!" said Samui, standing herself up and beginning to jump on the bed.

        "Oh, yeah!" Talon bounced in turn with her. "Well, I bet I can hide better than you can --"


        Silence passed for a few moments, except for the creaking sound of bedsprings being repeatedly battered by two small children.

        Then Samui said: "Did you hear that?"

        And then Talon bounced on the wrong spot.


        "Huh?" Talon clambered off of the bed, Samui following. The two each took hold of the thick pink bed sheets, nodded to each other, and pulled as hard as they could.

        An eleven-year-old girl shivered in the darkness of the room.

        Samui walked up to her.

        "'neechan?" She poked the redhead in the forehead. "'neechan, c'mon, wake up!"

        She poked a lot harder.

        "Wstfgl," said Jo-chan, and turned over.

        Samui hopped off of the side of the bed. "'neechan's asleep."

        "Not anymore!" said the almost-pubescent girl, in a voice specially designed to sound, to five-year-olds, like mommy is really mad now.

        The two children sped out of the room like bats out of hell, or at least bunny rabbits in a snake pit.

        Jo-chan shivered again. She jumped off of the bed, retrieved her blanket, hopped back in, and pulled the covers over her head once again.

        "''neechan'?" thought Jo-chan. She began to twirl her hair absentmindedly, like she always did when she was thinking. Oh, well, she'd figure it out later.

        Stupid flu. But at least she and Anne weren't stuck in that other dimension while she got better.

        And at least she felt a lot better. Sigh, but she had to get up sometime.

        Maybe a bath would help.

        The girl sat up and tossed aside the covers. She stretched a bit in the cold air, feeling the usual draft under her, and left the room.


        Skuld sighed. Well, when all else fails...

        The goddess stared at priceless yards of celestial computer system, and thumped it.


*Messy rooms are never worth cleaning until they reach the level of "filthy."

[Dot wrote:] Trouble

--Washuu's Subspace Laboratory--         Samui crossed her arms and shook her head firmly. "No."

        Washuu sighed. She had forgotten how much energy young children possessed and the universal distaste they had for bedtime. And besides, Tenchi was the one who always dealt with Mayuka when she was growing up. "Please, Samui."

        "But I'm not tired!"

        Washuu put on her best stern face, something a bit difficult to accomplish, considering that she was the Universe's Cutest Sciencific Genius [1]. "Go to bed. Now."

        Samui glared at Washuu for a few more seconds before stomping into her bedroom and slamming the door behind her as hard as a five-year-old could.

        Washuu let out another sigh. Maybe this whole mother business wasn't as great as she thought it would be.

--Yggsadril World Computer, Mainframe--         Skuld wanted to cry.

        Yggsadril was still a total mess. Her sisters still hadn't returned. Worse yet, she hadn't had any ice cream in the last 24 hours.

        A large hand offered her a bowl filled with the treat. "How about a nice big scoop of vanilla?"

        Skuld looked up into the warm, understanding face of the Heavenly Father, and could no longer control herself. With a plaintive cry of "Daddy!", she launched herself into the arms of the Almighty, who set down the bowl of ice cream so that He could take the sobbing Goddess into His arms. [2]

--Washuu's Subspace Laboratory--         "Mommie!" A bawling blur lept onto Washuu, knocking the air out of her.

        "Huh? Wha?" Washuu mumbled sleepily. She cracked open an eyelid to find a tearful Samui clutching her arm.

        "I dreamed that a monster was coming after me!" Samui blubbered.

        Feeling a bit irritated, Washuu was about to send Samui back to her room when she remembered when Ryouko had come to her saying exactly the same thing. It was the nicest little moment of mother-daughter bonding that Washuu wished she could have taped.

        Washuu moved over a bit to make room for Samui. "Tell me about it."

        Samui gratefully climbed into the warm sheets next to Washuu and snuggled up to her. "It was awful! I dreamed that I was in a big house with lots of fire..."

--Yggsadril World Computer, Hard Drive--         Urd stared at the tangled mass which was feeding upon the World Tree's hard drive, and was only able to say one thing.


        "Yes, this is terrible," Belldandy agreed solemnly, setting up a large circle that would isolate the infected area while they tried to clean it off system. Belldandy wasn't quite sure what effect this would have on Midgard [3], though. "Let's hope we can get to the bottom of this before it does too much damage."

        A slimy arm shot out towards Urd, but she stopped it by a well-placed lightning bolt. "Yeah, and if I ever find out which dolt booted an infected file to the Yggsadril, I'm gonna make the rest of their lives utterly miserable."

        Somewhere, a certain slightly careless Goddess-In-Training sneezed.

[1] Even in this universe, Washuu's Ego out-size everyone else's. In fact, her Ego has just gained Intergalactic recognition as its own system. Colonization plans are in consideration.
[2] The Ancient of Days is actually a really nice Guy, if you get to know Him. He does pack a mean Atomic Wedgie, though, so stay on His good side.
[3] Goddess-speak for the mortal realm. Also referred to as "That Place Down There" [4].
[4] Not to be confused with Hell, otherwise known as "That Place Way Down There". Not that there's much of a difference.

Excessively Wordy Authoress' Notes: Two very quick notes, actually...

Ryouko's Nightmare--Last I checked, this hasn't been shown or mentioned in any of the Tenchi Muyo! continuities. But I'd like to think it actually happened. ^_^
[Ed's additional note: The actual "cannon" Washuu doesn't seem to be this nice, though...]

"Goddess-In-Training"--A new character that I created for a fanfic I'm (sort of ^^;) working on.

[Dare wrote:]

        Kimiko walked down the street, muttering to herself. Irumi was supposed to return the LD's for her, but she left them on her coffee-table at home. "Oh well," she resigned, "maybe I can borrow something else to watch!" She smiled to herself.

        A familiar figure greeted her around the corner. "Onee-sama!" Ahlen waved. "Where are you going?"

        Kimiko nodded to the LD's in her bag. "Gonna return these."

        Ahlen peeked into her oversize bag and flipped through the large covers. "Uh, if I remember correctly, I thought you don't like anime?"

        "What? Since when did I say that?!"

        "I dunno, a while back when I was living at your place."

        Kimiko blinked. "You must be remembering things wrong. Where are you going?"

        He thumbed in some casual direction. "Anywhere that has food! Lyta's on some eating binge! The fridge is empty and she's still hungry. I don't know what's wrong. She doesn't usually eat this much, all at once. She's asking for really weird stuff, too. Like pickles and oysters and weird flavored ice cream!"

        Kimiko's eyes went wide. "Oh my god! Does that mean? Oh, I'm going to be an auntie! Wow, how wonderful! I'm so excited!" She was literally bouncing up and down.

        "What are you talking about?"

        "Don't you know anything, lil bro?" retorted Kimiko. "When a woman gets pregnant, she starts having cravings for food. Ahlen? Hello? Moshi moshi?" Ahlen didn't hear anything past 'pregnant'.

        "No, that's impossible!" Ahlen shrieked. He turned around and nearly bumped into Dachend, who had just rounded the corner.

        "Hi, Ahlen!" Dachend said with unusual chipper.

        "I'm not in the mood to quibble with you," Ahlen said darkly.

        Dachend had the oddest smile on his face. "Quibble? Ahlen, have I told you what an amazing swordsman you are? Your skills are just great. Not as good as mine, I have to be honest, but damn good. We should spar someday, should be fun." The compliment was unexpected, especially from Dachend. He nodded to Kimiko. "Kimiko, you're looking very good today. Anyway, I'm off to buy some groceries. Katt's been asking for some very odd flavors the past few days." He walked off.

        Kimiko sweatdropped.

        Ahlen nearly fell over. "No, I'm too young to be having kids!!"

        "Ahlen, how long has this been going on? Has she been throwing up in the morning? Any nausea?"

        Ahlen's eyes narrowed. " come you know about this?"

        "You baka!" Kimiko whapped his head gently. "She's not pregnant! I don't know what's wrong, but maybe you should take her to Washuu-chan."

        "'Washuu-chan'?" Ahlen repeated.

        "Yeah, you know Washuu?"

        Ahlen shook his head. "No, I meant, Washuu-chan?" emphasizing the -chan honorific.



        "Oh, can we pass by the store on the way? I want to see if the last Giant Robo is in!"

[Dot wrote:]

Opposite's Day--Situation Normal...

Gah. And I thought I'd never want to write a wrap-up thread again. Bad me. :)

        Urd let out a sigh of relief. "There. Finally cleaned out all of the files. Now it's just a matter of time before things fix themselves." Slumped back and let out another sigh. "Thank God for backups."


        Kimiko blinked.

        And blinked again.

        What in the world was she doing in an anime rental store?

        "There you are!" Hikaru panted, running up to Kimiko.

        "Hikaru," Kimiko said slowly, staring at the rows upon rows of video tapes before her. "Have I been acting strangely today?"


        "Nimrod555?" Skuld repeated incredulously.

        Urd nodded. "Whoever programmed it embedded that all over the code."

        Skuld laughed. "Who would name a virus 'Nimrod'?"

        Urd smiled back. "Beats me."


        Lyta opened the refrigerator and gaped. "Ahlen! What's all this food for? We won't be able to get rid of this for weeks!"

        "B-but I thought..." Ahlen stammered. "I thought you were..."

        "What?" Lyta demanded. "Quit mumbling!"

        Ahlen very wisely refused to answer.


        Falora felt her face grow hot and wished that the ground could swallow her up. "I...I..."

        The Almighty sighed. "Falora, if you're going to keep your job, you have to be more responsible."

        "I'm sorry," Falora whispered. "I didn't know..."

        "Now you do," the Almighty replied. "Thirty days on Midgard without FTP privileges. 15 day license suspension. And an official, written apology to Urd, Belldandy, and Skuld." His expression softened a bit. "And please, don't just be angry at yourself. Remember to run the virus scan on all of your files before you upload them."

        "Yes, Sir."


        Joseph stared at his closet and rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

        He wasn't.

        And the frilly, decidedly feminine dresses before him still dangled merrily from each hanger.

        Joseph had the feeling that someone really, really, really hated him. Or thought he looked cute as a girl. He wasn't sure which possibility disturbed him more.


        Belldandy hugged the sobbing Falora tightly. "Don't cry. Everything's all right now."

        "I-I know," Falora answered between sniffles. "But now everybody hates me!" With that, she broke into a new round of crying.

        Belldandy held Falora even closer. "Silly girl. I don't hate you. And Father [1] doesn't hate you, either."


        Talon finally found Samui sitting in a field of dandelions in St. John's Park, braiding a crown out of the bright yellow flowers.

        "Aren't you a little old for this?" he asked half-jokingly, sitting down to join her.

        "You're only as old as you feel," she answered, setting the crown on his head to test its size.


        "I'm home!" Belldandy announced as she came in, with Urd and Skuld fighting behind her.

        "Welcome back!" Keiichi greeted, smiling. "How was your day?"

        Belldandy smiled back. "Interesting [2]. How about yours?"


        "COME BACK HERE, DACHEND!" Katt roared, chasing the demon hunter in little circles around her small apartment.

        "You've got to catch me first!" Dachend replied, chortling.

        "Guys..." Draco-x'ian began, trying for the umpteenth time to calm the two down.

        "You promised!" Katt nearly wailed.

        "Can't I fucking change my mind?" Dachend wanted to know. "There's no fucking way I'm going to let you drag me to some clothing store ever again!"

        "ARGH!" was Katterina's eloquent response.


        Mara took in a deep breath and held her aching stomach. Finally, she was able to get her giggling under control.

        "Whew!" she wiped her eyes. "I haven't had such a good laugh in ages! What a great April Fools joke!"

        And then she promptly cracked up again.


        "Say, what's the matter with Kokutan?" Lyta wondered, munching absently on a bag of potato chips.

        Ahlen shrugged. "I don't know. You think she turned into a human or something the way she's acting..."

        Kokutan pretended not to hear them and continued to clean the temple, stopping every few moments to check that, yes, she was still a fox-demon.

[1] The Almighty's preferred title, as opposed to That Big Guy Up There.
[2] To Belldandy, the near-destruction of the world was merely 'interesting.' However, accidentally adding too much salt to a batch of cookies was 'horrible and awful.'[3]
[3] The value systems of a Goddess have a slight tendency to be incongruent with those of humans.

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